There is Nothing Wrong with Investing Time and Money in Ourselves

When we become mums, we do everything for our children. For years, we only care about our children and we stop caring about ourselves.

Why?, Well, because from the day that we are born, men and women alike have been taught to think that mothers have to be self-sacrificing and give everything up for their children. This is a truly wonderful thing and we all do it!

However, when our children grow up, we realise that we have not done anything for ourselves; we haven’t pampered ourselves, because, apparently, we do not deserve it as mums.

This is something that we need to change because treating ourselves does not make us worse mums or selfish: quite the opposite. Feeling good about ourselves make us happier, and this sense of well-being is then passed onto our children.

Investing Time in Ourselves make us Happier

Some patients have lots of doubts before starting a treatment, not because of the technique or the results, but because they feel guilty about not spending that money on their kids or their home.

I want to dedicate these words to those women who say “no” to their dreams, and who always put themselves last. Why are we not allowed to see ourselves looking nice, or wearing a new dress or working out for one hour a day without feeling guilty?

Why does maternity have to be synonymous with sacrifice? Making sacrifices and depriving yourself of things is not positive and, when prolonged, will give rise to sadness and low self-esteem.

Why is it so Bad to Spend Part of our Salary on something that we Like or makes us Feel Good?

And I’m talking about things that do not always entail money, like taking a nice hot bath, reading a book, having a cup of tea with friends or watching a film without interruptions. This is part of anyone’s daily life, whether you are a wife or a mother. Do not feel guilty about treating yourself or for working out twice a week…  or for wanting to see yourself looking more attractive or smarter or for putting yourself first for once (let’s face it, we think about our families at least a million times).

This does not make you selfish or self-serving, but makes you realise that if you do not attend to your needs, then it can cause resentment, suffering and leave you feeling unfulfilled in the future.

All I want to say is that the next time you treat yourself or spend time with friends, do so without feeling guilty or that you are depriving your loved ones of something.

Be a mother and love just as every mum loves, but never give up on being a woman and loving yourself and, above all, be happy!

Dr Valenzuela